My Darkness, My Vicissitude

My Darkness, My Vicissitude

In the tick of the clock, life became an anguish,

The braying of the nightingale turned into the owl's hoot.

The fertility of my pastures decayed into barrenness,

The lake dried up and the orchards withered away.

They shall take my Sun away from me soon.

Parched, I'm entwined with heaviness, unknowingness.

I could not imagine thee in white for another, chained.

For years long have I walked burdensome,

My head heavy and my eyes heavier,

Inebraited in wine, loneliness and sorrow I drift into the wilderness.

Refuge do I seek in the hush of the darkness.

For in the bantering light of the world I cannot see thee.

In the pitch black, with my eyelids clenched,

I see thy angelic face, my light, my redemption.

Thou whispereth to my ear, " I am free."

Thy breath warms me in this cold desolation. 

I wish this darkness no end.

I wish it no end till I am with thee,

I wish it no end till I die in thy embrace.

I Waste Not Time Thinking Of You

I Waste Not Time Thinking Of You

I waste not time thinking of you,

For I know He will bless me with you.

The Universe, its energy works for us.

My angel have I sent to shield you forever,

Tis what one does to be together.

I waste not memory sitting next to you,

Feeling you breathe and sweeten the air.

Those laughs, the gossip we usually shared,

I carrying you on my back, you hitting me hard.

I listen to the tunes we once danced to,

I waste not time yearning for you.

To hold your soft hands again.

To be enveloped in your arms afresh.

To melt in your warmth and breathe my last.

Candle Without A Wick

Candle Without A Wick

The Heavens have declared a solace,

A sanctuary I cannot visit,

A solitude I will not embrace.

For I drift into the vastness,

An emptiness engulfs me about.

I cry out to Eros, to Hera, to Aphrodite, 

Answers I receive from Ares and Dionysus instead.

Am I to saunter this expanse forever?

Oh bring her to me Eros,

For I have long endured anguish!

She surmises it to be besottedness!

As the Sun is wanting of fire,

So am I without my inamorata,

A candle without a wick, 

Waiting to be lit, waiting to shine.

No I Do Not Remember

No I Do Not Remember

No, I do not remember your heart-melting smile,
The smile that kept me going for these long years.
No I do not remember those lips that formed your smile,
The lips that I crave to kiss one day without my tears.

No I do not remember your Greek-goddess eyes,
Those eyes I loved more when were fixed on me at times.
No I do not remember your long, curled eye lashes,
They would glitter with the pearls of rain caught in them.

No I do not remember your black, silky tresses,
In their shadow have I wished to bury my demons.
No I do not remember  your small, soft temple,
Rested on my shoulder when you talked about more freedom.

No I do not remember how you always stood your ground,
How for everything words came from your heart.
No I do not remember you playing the guitar,
And how your tender voice always stood apart.

No I do not remember that a decade may have passed,
No I do not remember being told that people change.
No I do not remember you, not even a distant thought,
No, I do not remember that I have moved on.

The Crimson City : On Karachi in August 2011

The Crimson City

The knolls have tolled again my friends,

The Mullah's call heard loud and wide

Involuntarily to these an ear we lend,

Through the city runs another crimson tide.

Promises were made on the breakfast table,

'Today for a movie and dinner shall we go,'

'Wear that new dress as in that movie,'

Passes have I bought for the best seats.

She tells all her girlfriends about the plan,

Jovially the maquillage is advised,

His friends shout out, "Way to go man,"

"Thank God you put differences aside."

The sons, husbands and brothers are off,

The Sun of life soon for them will go down,

News channels blare loud, roofs blown,

Gun shots, fire! Tears roll down.

Sharp long nails in the coffins are hammered,

Friends and relatives would talk if they could,

A cry from the back their bonding has hampered,

The workers moan, "There is no more wood."

The sun has set for the wives and mothers,

A lonesome darkness will their lives abate,

And dare not forget the hopeful sisters,

Who for a glimpse will their lives abdicate.

My Athena

Every man has his Athena or longs for the true soul-mate. This is my version of Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and victory in war.




"Calmly, majestically, she walks. She enters where the 'gods' gather. The dark clouds vanish leaving a bright light to enter the hall. All eyes are set upon her, every soul desires her. Robed in sand and sky, followed by her entourage she makes her way to where there is water flowing. Her black tresses, her skin bathed in milk, beady and slightly protruding eyes that drown anyone who look into them, she gives a smile as she looks at me. My heart melts and cries a soft whisper, "Oh the gods have put Cleopatra to shame." I realise she is royalty, I cannot return that bright and cheerful smile. Yet, with a gesture of her thin, beautiful hand, she beckons me. As I am walking towards her, my heart stops beating. Hands shivering, I feel something trickle down my forehead onto my cheeks. I stumble right before her. She leaps forward to hold me. 'Zeus' rises looking on in disbelief and I, quickly break away. Swiftly I move out thinking of events that had and will occur. "I am not worthy of her," I say to myself. I turn around and she stands gazing upon me like a Greek goddess. She runs towards me calling out my name, asking me to stop. With a mixed and heavy heart I come to a halt. I can feel all eyes are set upon us, their venom flowing abundantly. I turn around again. This time with a fervour I had never known. She stops in front of me. I put my hand into hers. Looking into those intoxicating eyes, which soon water up I resolve never to let go of that hand from this moment on. And like a Greek goddess she walks out with me, head held high, leaving all in disbelief."

This is a poem I wrote a few years ago. God truly is there. People tried their best but I'm still alive.

WHERE ART THOU?

A darkness has engulfed the mansion

The rain stops for none in the expansion,

I stand drenched in disorderly fashion,

I wish to scream out, "Where art Thou?"

Why hast Thou forsaken me my Creator?

Why do these cannibals wish me dead?

Why hast my angel departed from me?

I have long cried out "Where art Thou God?"

Come to my aid O Omnipotent!

Those conniving sorcerers have bewitched me,

Come and rid me of this evil numbness,

O how I wish Thou rescue me Lord!

At last! My Savior has heard my plea!

He doth answereth my prayers of long,

I see them falling, I see them crying,

Of dust they art and dust they are eating.

All praise to God my Redeemer!

All Glory to His Holy Name!

All bow down before The Almighty!

He loves His created! He loves the innocent! 

'Band of Brothers'

Ah, friendship! Friends. As cliched as it may seem, true friends are hard to find and as Theophrastus said, " True friends visit us in prosperity only when invited, but in adversity they come uninvited."

I wrote this in July this year. Its an 'ode' to the gentlemen who have stood by me, through trials and tribulations, in honor of the men who did not shy away from standing up against the world for me. I am forever indebted to these extraordinary men who are heroes in their own way. 

Dreading, drudging, I walk the stony path. The night's mist surrounds me. I hear the owls howling. The heavy breathing of creatures out for a fill. The pitter patter of rain soon turns into a bantering. I try to find refuge under those age old trees I walk between, but their branches pierce my body leaving me gasping for more air. Cut and bruised, I open my mouth to quench my thirst from the water above. A few gulps later, I am hit by a hard object. I look around. There is no one. Fear grips and sends shivers down my already cold body. Again it hits me. And this time it keeps coming down with the rain. My only hope for water is soon turned into despair with the hail. I run my eyes and they come to rest on a tree like no other. The tallest and thickest of them all. Its branches stretching out like wings, providing a shelter from the howling wind and the stones falling from the sky. I rest against its bark, trying to ascertain as to why me.

 The distant sound of a cough alerts me. I unsheathe my sword. My armour and shield already disposed off miles away, I muster up the courage to face what ever it is. I see a tall silhouette. Then I see another as tall. Two more which are slightly shorter. I look closely and I see their faces. Bruised and weary, swords unsheathed, with their attire barely covering their spent bodies, they too are wanting to see who it is. With looks exchanged, an assumption from both ends takes place. We soon realise that we are of no danger to each other. They had moved out of the trunk of that tree to find whatever piece of dry wood that they could to make fire, looking at the ones in their hands, I gauged. With a moments swiftness swords are sheathed. We gather inside the huge trunk of that tree. Rubbing stones, we light a fire, exchanging our names and stories, each thinking that the other's is more melancholic. They have some bread still dry and I some wine still unadulterated from the heavy rain. The night passes but the storm worsens.

 We move on together. Battling the weather and fighting the hungry creatures, it seems like we have been together for ages. That is how long a storm may last. We walk forward, trying to make our way out of this forest, away from this incessant storm. After what seems like years, the first light of the sun breaks through the thick dark clouds. With a new spirit, we dance, knowing that it is over. A renewed strength is in our legs. We reach our destination, together. A place where the meadows are green. Where cattle roams freely. Where produce from the land is plenty. We call that place 'Band of Brothers.'

Friendship, for those who have experienced the truth of it may agree, is the best therapy ever! Share with them your joys, sorrows, aspirations, love-life, work-place issues etc. You will find that they will give you some of the best advice possible and after that, they'll start pulling your leg as usual!